omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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