the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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