i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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