You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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