I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
