dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
