That's intense
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I need to align my fucking chakras
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
