these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize