Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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