I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He felt like a one man threesome
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
that is very illegal...i love you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
