Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
