I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
BRING THE BAGELS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
