look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
