good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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