I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
