that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
