well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
