i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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