sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
