there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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