Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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