It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
