what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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