I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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