Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
