check it out our google latitudes are spooning
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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