dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
How's work?
Spinning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
