Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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