i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
