I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
