We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How external is "for external use only"?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
