I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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