Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
