I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
