i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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