do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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