Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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