I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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