paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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