I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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