i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
