I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
