its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
