He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How does one acquire holy water?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
