Got a toothbrush?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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