:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize