Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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