I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
