i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
