My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
