Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
