the day after is always just damage control
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
