I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
