Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
