Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
