dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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