I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
