Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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