It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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