You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
