Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra