I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
