I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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