I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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