i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
