now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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